Parenthood

                                                                            

Trust in yourself

 

It's a pure gift to have four children to observe and listen to. They were my gurus in the nursery...and they have transformed into gods & goddesses of human & spiritual wisdom. They are driven in their actions by emotion & what 'feels good'. The very thing so called grown-ups are thrashing about trying to recover in themselves. From my heart, I believe, parenting is not a 'role' to be played, it is something we 'are' by being our authentic selves... those creative, playful, giggling and free souls ...who just want to give love, to BE loving towards self...and nothing else. There is a difference between a grown-up parent and adult parent. The adult parent also lives by what feels good...abandoning 'appropriate' to the trash, knowing appropriate cannot live in the same world as authentic. The adult parent knows their children do not need endless, gap filling 'stuff', relentless tables of food, or a rigid daily schedule of activities. They know their child desires, in that 'gap', their authenticity...their willing energy, their condition-less love, their emotional honesty....and vulnerability. When an adult parent makes mistakes...they don't hide them by hanging them on the back of someone else....they own them. This looks like true beauty to a child...as they learn there's no shame in getting it wrong sometimes.... seeing we always remain lovable and valuable. A child will love you for your failings as much as your achievements ...provided we own them.
The adult parent embraces the thoughts, opinions and needs of everyone in the room....no matter how young those people may be. They know growing older does not bring with it a right to dominate, manipulate, re-mould or suppress another humans heart, thoughts or feelings.....as no human ever owns another life. The adult parent doesn't 'need' their children...they 'want' their beautiful company, but only if the child gives it willingly. Parenting comes with no costume, no props, no script, no stage .... because you already know how to be 'you'.....and 'you' cannot be taught to you by other parents who have gone before. The adult parent plays with their child in the sand with one hand...and pays the bills with the other. With no grand demonstrations suggesting practicality is more important than play. Giving is easy and requires no 'expected' medal.
The choice each man & woman makes, with regards to 'adult' or 'grown-up' .....can mean the difference between a child running to you with open arms...or running away from you. Even if they're physically planted by your side.
I pray I am authentic to my children...for they deserve nothing less of me. I know the moment I loose sight of myself...I loose sight of them....and the emotional demonstrations will begin. In all their colourful and explosive glory! I have made the mistake of being 'grown-up'....and my children don't care for it at all. What a blessing they're happy and secure enough to tell me freely....and quite frankly, when I'm being an arse! For when I've played grown-up....I have merely been demonstrating being 'seen' to play the role of parent well, to other grown-up observers. Revealing a need in me to gain approval, and thus, a lack of self worth. Trusting wholeheartedly in 'Kerry' being more than enough...exactly as she is......offers the gift of trust to my children to also know what they desire in their lives, that they are far more than good enough, exactly as they are.....and are free to make choices for themselves which please them. Without being forced to play the role of 'model child, student, brother or sister'. I must guide my children to knowing they are allowed to guide themselves into a life long experience of 'living' which feels good to THEM, rather than a life that just feels good to me! .....and that is it. No more, no less. 

"God bless the child. For they are God. Bringing a brief and enchanted opportunity to recover God within the grown self."
God IS the wonder we call Love. Love IS this wonder we call God -for they are one and the same thing .. ...exquisitely encapsulating the gift and pure beauty to be found in the love of being alive.